Note to self:

Remember. My ignorance is not [underlined twice in the journal] charming.
Better to know the names of flowers than to confess girlishly that I am ignorant of nature.
Better to have a good sense of direction than to describe how I often get lost.
These confessions amount to boasts, but I have nothing in here to boast about.
Better to be knowing than innocent. I am not a girl anymore.
Better to be decisive, wilful, than polite, yielding, deferring to other person’s choice.”

– Susan Sontag, “Reborn: Journals and notebooks”


Black Widow painting


There’s been much talk about Marvel’s lack of female character representation in its merchandise recently, with Black Widow being excluded from practically all the Avengers merch, so I decided to make my own Black Widow fan art and merchandise. Unfortunately, due to copyright issues, I won’t be able to sell this on my redbubble page, but I do encourage Marvel fans to do the same – make yourself the merch you can’t buy simply because it’s not available.

Some Incoherent, Midnight Rambles

Work was splendid today. I was assigned the same shift as the best friend and we had such a blast joking (and working!!) in the store together. Yet the highlight of the evening, wasn’t the part where we fiddled with the Unemployed Philosopher’s Guild plush toys or when we decided to play bossa nova music over the store’s sound system. Rather, it was when a customer dropped by to have his gift wrapped right before our closing time.

Since our store’s a novelty gift shop, our merchandise inches towards the slightly pricier range – and that includes our wrapping paper too (a sheet of designer wrapping paper will set you back about 8-9 dollars.) Nevertheless, he settled for one of the birthday designs we carried ($8.90) because the other craft and gift stores were closed. Not only that, he was so grateful for our wrapping service that he bought boba from the shop across our store for us. (He, essentially, spent almost fifteen dollars on a gift-wrapping service.) While this doesn’t seem like much to some, when your facial muscles are dead tired from smiling at customers all day and you can hardly count the number of times you’ve said “hi, welcome” in the past six hours, having an appreciative and nice customer’s possibly the best perk-me-up you can get. It’s nice to know that you’re appreciated by someone from time to time, even if the person’s a complete stranger, so thank you Mr. Gift-wrap-guy for making my day.

On a side note, here’s Plushie!Virginia Woolf being made to read her own essay:

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“Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.”

A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf

“Whatever teaches us to talk to ourselves is important: whatever teaches us to sing ourselves out of despair. But the painting has also taught me that we can speak to each other across time. And I feel I have something very serious and urgent to say to you, my non-existent reader, and I feel I should say it as urgently as if I were standing in the room with you. That life—whatever else it is—is short. That fate is cruel but maybe not random. That Nature (meaning Death) always wins but that doesn’t mean we have to bow and grovel to it. That maybe even if we’re not always so glad to be here, it’s our task to immerse ourselves anyway: wade straight through it, right through the cesspool, while keeping eyes and hearts open. And in the midst of our dying, as we rise from the organic and sink back ignominiously into the organic, it is a glory and a privilege to love what Death doesn’t touch. For if disaster and oblivion have followed this painting down through time—so too has love. Insofar as it is immortal (and it is) I have a small, bright, immutable part in that immortality. It exists; and it keeps on existing. And I add my own love to the history of people who have loved beautiful things, and looked out for them, and pulled them from the fire, and sought them when they were lost, and tried to preserve them and save them while passing them along literally from hand to hand, singing out brilliantly from the wreck of time to the next generation of lovers, and the next.”

The Goldfinch, by Donna Tartt

I’m feeling slightly woozy now and Gilmore Girls isn’t loading, so here I am.

Correction: The statement above ought to read “I’m feeling slightly woozy now so I can’t finish The Paris Review’s anthology of short stories and move on to reading Joyce’s Ulysses, and Gilmore Girls isn’t loading, so here I am.”

Not that I’ve got very much to gripe about – other than the fact that my wisdom tooth’s growing out and it feels as if a demon spawn’s slashing and clawing its way out of my gums – since everything but the perpetual pain in spots around my face/head was great. I didn’t have to go to work today, so that’s a good start, since two days of staring into space in a (mostly) empty department store while reshuffling already neat stationery on the shelves can really take its toll on your psyche. Continue reading

Fresh Start

Hello world,

It’s Rachel here.
I’ve had a wordpress blog for the longest time – it was the most brilliant companion for me to rant to on certain things I couldn’t discuss with others, not to mention it was where I kept my high school life neatly archived. The thing is, the old site’s made such a brilliant record of my high school life that I felt I had to leave it behind now that those years are over, so I’ve started this new page.

Besides, you know the queasy feeling you get emanating from the pits of your stomach when you go through your old essays or art that you’ve made in your youth? That’s essentially what a portion of the old site does to me. Not all of it is cringe-worthy, but it’s rather difficult for me to go through the hundreds of posts on my old blog to filter the ones that are particularly embarrassing out, so the most convenient option was simply to move to a new blog.

I’ll continue posting regularly about my daily shenanigans, though it’s a few months till I get sent off to university (when life finally gets interesting again, I hope), and I’ll definitely be posting my art here. Since I’ve now got plenty of free time on my hand in between my odd shifts at work, I’m reading quite a bit currently so I’ll probably be writing about that as well. We’ll just see what happens when this blog takes on a life of its own.

Till then,